So, many of you may know that I am obese. This is a fact that has been proven by such infallible Internet sites such as wikipedia and a handful of BMI calculators. Here's the proof:

Now the cynics will try to discredit me by saying I'm only overweight, not obese. Au contraire! We all know 28.5 rounds up to 30 and 30 is OBESE! So says wikipedia.
Recently I had the pleasure of finding out that my obesity, diet, much coveted sedentary lifestyle and wonderful family genes have sent my cholesterol levels climbing to where no man has gone before...196...and counting. I know, completely unheard of and ridiculously mediocre.
So let's get down to the nitty gritty. It's the holiday season and I know many of you are trying your best to be more helpful than hurtful, so I'd like to take a minute of your time to plead to your kinder, gentler, cooking side. I'm in need of some really good fish recipes to help my HDL levels skyrocket and LDL levels sink like the titanic full of gravitationally gifted people. (that's what my people like to be called.) If you've got any you'd like me to try out, let me hear it. I promise I'll try it as long as:
- I can find the fish locally.
- The recipe is reasonably priced
- The fish doesn't look like any part of the human anatomy.
I'll also be renewing my love hate relationship with the gym and the other 5:30 am freaks who run with smiles Spackled to their skinny faces. Apparently, healthy living actually reduces cholesterol too.
Sterling/Stephanie, you guys bragged about a killer salmon recipe, so I'm targeting you! Slap that recipe up for all the gravitationally gifted people of the world to read, or email it to me....please.
To all those who participate, my arteries thank you. To all those who choose to passively discriminate against those of us who apply year after year to the biggest loser...may you all become politicians and have affairs with Monica Lewinsky-esque interns.